Select Entries from over the Years out of the Journal of Rod Hinkle, Tourrette’s Syndrome Sufferer

  

August 14^th, 1979 (Age 6) – I am bad at hide and seek.  I get found first every time.  Not much better at blind man’s bluff.  Red Light, Green Light is hard too.   I am no longer allowed to play Marco Polo, either.  My friends say I don’t play by the rules because it’s not called “Marco ASSWIPE Polo.”

 

 April 24^th 1990 (age 17) – Prom didn’t go so well.  My date Denise misunderstood my compliment.  Really not her fault though.  Meant to tell her how attractive she looked, but came out “You sure do look MONKEY BUTT beautiful tonight.”  Also, stabbed her 14 times when trying to pin on corsage. 

 

June 2^nd, 1991 (Age 18) – Great, thanks to yearbook staff, I will forever be the guy quoted as saying “It’s been a strange and wonderful man-love ride.”  They knew what I meant. 

 

November 5^th, 1994 (Age 21) – qqqqqq q q qqqqq  qq q Can’t stop q qqqqq  qq q qqqq q pressing the Q key q q qqqq q q qqq with my tongue qq q q q q qqq  qqqqqqq qq qqqqq.

 

September 12^th, 1995 (Age 22) – Almost started a riot on campus today during a speech by Rabbi Rosenberg at the Diversity Awareness Rally.   I swear, I was chanting “Kite.”  I need to start wearing an “I have Tourette’s Syndrome” t-shirt.  It’s hard to explain verbally when being rained down on with spit and water bottles. 

 

March 31^st, 1997 (Age 24) – Did some jail time for the first time in my life.  Charged with contempt during the trial in which I was a character witness for my pal Chris.  Judge took offense to me adding the words Ball-sucking, cornhole, and purple nurple to the swearing-in process.  Calling judge “Your Honor Whore” while trying to explain was not helpful.  Chris really pissed about outcome of trial. 

 

August 19^th, 1999 (Age 26) – Very productive weekend.  Rearranged CD collection alphabetically by album title, then again by year released, then again alphabetically by artist name, then again by combined number of letter in the album title and artist name least to greatest, then again by length of playtime greatest to least, then again by record label, then again by coordinating album cover color with that of spectrum, then again by algebraic formula taking into account number of people in the band multiplied by the square root of numerical year of copyright and multiplied exponentially by the number of singles released from the album, then again alphabetically by album title.  That one felt right the second time around. 

 

July 16^th, 2001 (Age 28)  - Just had 10 minute argument with neighbor across the hall without him being aware it took place.  Just had a 10 minute argument with my neighbor across the hall without him realizing it took place. Just had a 10 minute argument with my neighbor across the hall without him realizing it took place.  No one realizes when I really am mad.  My intentional cursing has very little impact. 

 

June 27^th, 2004 (Age 31) – Been calling my boss a douche hole to his face for two weeks now.  Tourette’s not all bad. 

 

February 15^th, 2005 (Age 32) – Got the MP3 player I asked for for my birthday.  Also scheduled my 2 week vacation to adopt my CD organization techniques to the next step in the digital age.